Creamed Corn and Other Things
by What-I-Got
Summary: What happens when a troll of a little brother almost becomes a goblin. Contains an OC, though no pairings. OneShot. K plus for language.


In a rural home in Nevada, a teenaged boy sat on the top landing of his stairs, eagerly waiting for his older sister to return home. Usually, a gesture of this sort would be taken as a show of affection for his sister. In the case of the Jones siblings, it was a bad omen.

Molly Jones, 23, rolled up her windows as she pulled into her driveway, completely unaware of the events that were about to unfold in her own living room.

Jake heard the thump of the bass of his sister's subwoofers before he could even hear the car come up the driveway. A wolfish grin spread across his face and he rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

Molly closed the door of her Honda Accord and locked it with a _click._ The song she had just been listening to lingered in her head and she hummed a few bars of it as she glided up her front walkway.

Jake heard the clicks of Molly's key in the door and he almost couldn't stand the excitement. Once he had noticed that their new front door opened out rather than in, the idea popped into his head. His devious plan would unfold in mere seconds. Oh, it was going to be _good._

_Squish. _

"Jake, you are such an asshole!" Molly shrieked, removing her foot from the bowl of cream corn that Jake had placed on the landing. Jake laughed heartily and sped down the hallway towards his room. Molly, catching his movement, raced up the stairs after him, not caring that she was trailing corn behind her. She reached the landing just in time to see him slam his door and hear the lock click shut. Jake pressed his back against the door as his sister furiously pounded on the door.

"JAKE, YOU DOUCHEBAG! THESE ARE NEW SHOES!"

Jake only laughed in response and flopped himself down on the bed. He and his sister had been pulling pranks on each other like this for years, so he wasn't really sure why she was so angry. Still, it made it even funnier. Which made her even angrier.

"Ha ha, very funny, Jake." She jibbed, ceasing her livid pounding on the wooden door. "But I would watch your back for the next couple of days. I know where you sleep."

Looking down at her Uggs, she noticed that they were pretty close to ruined. Sighing, she slipped them off and padded over to her laundry room. Quickly, she wet a cloth and ran it over the boots, removing the corn debris. She scrubbed at the creamy substance, and shook the boot into the laundry room sink, the last remnants of the corn flying off the shoe and sticking to the side of the sink. Realizing that the boots were as clean as they would get, she deposited them next to the dryer and walked out into the hallway. In the fifteen seconds she'd spent removing corn, her brother had run into the living room and lounged victoriously on the couch, waiting for her return.

Molly shook her head in defeat and sunk down next to him onto the couch. Jake spotted her overwhelmed expression and clucked his tongue.

"Oh come on, Mol. It was just a joke. No need to get so moody." He cooed, tugging playfully at one of her curls.

"Jake, you are such a troll." she sighed, rubbing her eyes to ward off the coming headache. Something in her phrase triggered familiarity in Jake's mind and he sat up suddenly.

"You know what that reminded me of, Mol?" He asked. After she didn't answer right away, he supplied, "Remember that movie we used to watch when we were kids? The one with David Bowie and the trolls?"

"Goblins." She corrected. "And yeah, I do."

"Man, I loved that movie so much." He sat back, his eyes distant with memory. She snorted.

"You used to have nightmares about the Goblin King." Jake glared at her.

"It was his eyebrows, okay? Eyebrows like that just aren't natural." She laughed genuinely at that statement.

"I always wanted to wish you away when I was little. I sort of want to now, too." She said. Mock-shock colored Jake's features.

"Molly, I am appalled." And she laughed again, a genuine laugh.

"I'm gonna do it! I wish the Goblins would take you away right now!" She teased, poking her brother in the chest, before standing to go to the kitchen to make lunch. Without looking back, she called, "What do you want for lunch? We've got Hamburger Helper, left over pasta from last night, and some turkey. I could make you a sandwich?"

She waited for a response, but none came. This reticence irritated her, as she assumed her brother was just trying to be cute again.

"Well if you don't want that, I suppose you could go pound sand instead." She replied irately, turning the corner and entering the dark kitchen. Her fingers grazed the light switch and flicked the switch up, but nothing happened. She tried the switch again, but nothing happened.

"Well, isn't that just perfect?" sarcasm laced her voice.

"Jake, can you fix the breaker?" She called as she walked back into the living room to find that her brother was not there.

"Jake?"

Rumbling was the first thing she noticed. A deep timbre rattled the windowpanes and shook the house. Wind began to blow so rough that it actually penetrated the house through cracks in windows and doors. Shutters flew open and the wind violently thrusted leaves and other debris inside the house. A whirlwind ravaged the room, knocking painting from their perches and flipping magazines and newspapers onto the floor. Far off laughing screeched. Some vague part of Molly's mind drew a parallel to the Nazgul of Lord of the Rings, but the thought was fleeting. Molly noted, with horror, that a snowy old was slamming against the French doors of the living room, trying to get it. In one burst of light, noise, wind and glitter, the doors flung open and crashed against the wall, knocking a hole in the wall that Molly wouldn't notice until much, much later.

Suddenly, the Goblin King stood before her, complete with extremely tight pants, retro 80s hair, and glitter.

"Hello, Molly." The Goblin King drawled arrogantly in his rich accent. Molly's eyes widened momentarily as recognition flitted across her face. As quickly as it came, the expression fell into annoyance.

"Son of a_ bitch_" she hissed, pressing a hand to her face in exasperation. One of Jareth's heavily lined eyebrows shot up.

"You did not expect me?" he quipped, taking a step towards her. Well, no. She didn't exactly expect a fictional character from a 1980s movie to appear in her living room after jokingly wishing her little brother away. A brother who was _17 years old_, may she add.

"Look," she started, ignoring his question. "Before you start on your 'I'm the Goblin King!' spiel, let's just get a few things straight. One, very funny. I don't know how much my brother paid you to do this shit, but it clearly isn't enough because, I mean, _you're dressed like that_. By the way, nice effects." She said, nodding towards the French doors he had flown in through in a burst of wind and glitter. "Second, if this leads to a large obstacle course with my brother waiting at the end laughing at me, we can just stop this before it even starts. A new episode of _Skins_ is going to be on in, oh…" she pulled out her cell phone and checked the time. "…eight minutes and I really don't feel like missing it."

Jareth gaped at her, stunned that she dare speak to him in that manner. Most people who wished their children away either sniveled out apologies or were too stunned to speak. And what did she mean "dressed like that"?

Molly misinterpreted his shocked look for the 'imposter' breaking character and sighed deeply. Feeling guilty, she fished ten dollars out of her pocket and thrust them into the bewildered Goblin King's hand.

"Here," she said, closing his fingers around the ten-dollar bill. "My brother's a total cheapskate and he probably paid you way less than you deserve. I'll give you another five if you promise to let me skip over whatever else he has planned for me."

Jareth blinked down at the crumpled bill in his hand, momentarily unsure of what to do. Molly watched him stare at it for a moment and remarked,

"I really hope he didn't pay you less than that. The way you're looking at that bill is like you've never seen a ten before."

Jareth looked up then and locked eyes with Molly. It was then that she noticed it.

Mismatched eyes, one blue, one brown.

_H__eterochromia iridum._

Deep in the back of her mind, the random bit of trivia she knew about David Bowie reminded her that he did not actually have _heterochromia iridum_, as one of his eyes only appeared brown because of an injury in a fight. But this man… this man truly had one brown eye and one blue eye.

No… There's no way her brother could find someone_ that_ accurate in the middle of rural Nevada. Molly's stomach sank into the basement.

"Holy _shit_, you really are the Goblin King."

Jareth started to get irritated then. Clearly, she was not the brightest thing.

"Really, Molly, I should strike you down for insulting me so. Am I really comparable to a cheap imitation?" He held out his hand and the bill in it shuddered and transformed into a bird, which shot up and burrowed into Molly's hair. She shrieked, flinging her arms about, swatting at the money-bird as it tumbled through her bright red curls. As quickly as it darted into her hair, it soared back to Jareth's hand with a flick of his wrist. He tucked the bird into his breast pocket and smirked cockily at her flustered aggravation.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" her flare of anger was familiar to Jareth. A whine tinged her voice and her face crumpled in indignation, much like Sarah's did whenever she complained about the relative fairness of a situation. He ignored the profanity-laced question and instead picked up on a thread that they had deviated from.

"Molly, I am here because you wished the child away." Somewhere behind her, Molly heard giggling that she knew had to be goblins. Why hadn't she noticed them before?

"Even though Jake acts like he's five, he's _seventeen years old_, hardly a child!" She argued, taking a step towards the Goblin King. He scoffed dismissively at her comment.

"But a child nonetheless. You have wished him away, and I have taken him as you asked. Now," he began to walk in a slow circle around Molly, sizing her up. "If you would like him back, he is in my castle—"

"And I have to go through the Labyrinth in thirteen hours or he's a goblin, right?" Molly finished impatiently for him, shifting uncomfortably under his scrutiny. She pretended she didn't see his scowl.

"Yes." He said through gritted teeth. This woman was certainly grating on his nerves. "Though I may warn you, this is not an easy task. Few have made it, and the Labyrinth is different for each person. You will brave hardships that will push you beyond your limits. Or," his voice lifted. At once, a glittering crystal orb materialized on his fingertips. Molly stared, transfixed, at it. "I can grant you your heart's desires." After a moment, he added, "And you will not miss your program."

Molly thought for a moment. No Jake, and she would make Skins, but she would probably be sent to jail because of her brother's disappearance. Plus, this Goblin King always seemingly had strings attached to every offer, so that whole 'heart's desire' would probably turn out biting her in the ass in the end.

Then again, she could go after Jake, get her own little adventure, and maybe save him? No, she _would_ save him. She could best this stupid fairy Goblin King. If whiny fifteen year old Sarah could do it, surely a twenty three year old med student could do it. Plus, her brother would literally owe her his life and maybe, just maybe, she could use that fact to cease the stupid pranks. Jaw set, she made her choice.

"Alright, I accept your challenge. When does my time start?"

The Goblin King smiled then, a mischievous twinkle in his two-toned eyes.

"Now."

And she was off into the Labyrinth.


End file.
